I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she told me i tasted like america
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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