she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize