He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
