the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
