I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
