At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
