Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
