My hand turned me down
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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