Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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