My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
