I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize