I'd wear matching sweaters with you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
