Small penises have feelings too.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize