I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
