What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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