I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize