Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
