And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
