I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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