She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize