well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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