She said her name was "party"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
