I don't think brook has ever known best
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
