the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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