I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
