Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
