My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
