Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
