I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
