Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
