first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
