she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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