you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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