is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
