honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
