Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
