Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
