it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
