Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he fucked my hip out of place.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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