Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Green mimosas i think yes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
