At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
