I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
