So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
