She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize