A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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