I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
