i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
