Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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