I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
