Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
