So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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