wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
