I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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