Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
