i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
