"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
