It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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