god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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