I accidentally had phone sex last night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
