he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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