Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
